Gag Post: When To Use Taser Gun In The Office


I was talking to my colleagues the past few days, and blurted out the weird (albeit in a funny way) idea to use taser guns to those delinquent employees, the kind that feels like a zombie, you know, the walking undead.

These are office scenarios that you just love to use taser guns:

1. Habitual tardy employees. The kind who doesn’t care about deductions in his/her payslip for the accumulated tardiness that he/she incurred.

2. Employees who are absent due to LBM (loose bowel movement). It is as if they thought of their managers as unaware of the fact that LBM is manageable through medication.

3. The “not feeling well” absent excuse. Come on, how vague can one gets?

4. When you ask an employee why he/she is late, and the reply is “trapik eh” as if it was the first time we encounter that excuse. It’s crazy.

5. Sore eyes, but reports for work after one day without a hint of reddish marks in the concerned body organ. Lying to his/her teeth.

6. Employees who don’t want to admit mistake, even if it’s obvious.

7. Slow comprehension.

8. Noisy employees, the kind whose mouths would like to compete with 7-Eleven—open 24/7.

9. Employees with a “no” attitude, the kind who always say no to every invitation or request that you ask them.

10. Lazy and slow employees. A taser might perk them up a bit.


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